Because the best lessons come wrapped in laughter, mess, and a little chaos.
Here’s the thing about childhood: the most unforgettable moments aren’t about perfection. They’re about the time your kid fell face-first off their bike, got drenched in a creek, or decided to give themselves a truly unique haircut. These “fails” aren’t just hilarious—they’re essential.
If you’ve read Jonathan Haidt’s The Coddling of the American Mind, The Anxious Generation or browsed the brilliant resources compiled at https://letgrow.org, you know that letting kids embrace small risks and failures is one of the best things we can do for them. Falling down, making mistakes, and laughing (or crying!) about it builds resilience, creativity, and a healthy sense of adventure.
So, here’s a list of 12 fails every kid should tick off before they hit 12. They’re messy, silly, and full of life lessons—but most of all, they’re just plain fun!
- Burn Marshmallows Over an Open Fire
Ah, the sweet art of marshmallow roasting. Every kid starts out with big dreams of golden perfection…until their marshmallow ignites like a tiny sugar comet. The real skill is in deciding whether to eat their crispy creation (charcoal and all) or start over. This is risk-taking at its finest—controlled, delicious danger that builds patience and problem-solving.
- Fall Off Your Bike
Nothing screams “childhood rite of passage” like a scraped knee from a good old bike tumble. Falling off is just part of the process. And getting back on? That’s where the magic happens. Plus, it’s a great excuse to whip out the antiseptic spray and play doctor. Resilience in action, one wobbly ride at a time.
- Eat Too Many Lollies
We all know how this one goes. They stuff their face with lollies, hit an all-time sugar high, and then crash spectacularly with a tummy ache and a vow to “never eat lollies again” (until next week). It’s a perfect, no-nagging-required lesson in moderation. Natural consequences for the win!
- Get Your Shoes Soaked in a Creek
Creeks are irresistible, especially when there’s rock-hopping involved. At first, you try to stay dry. But let’s be real—one bad jump, and your shoes are soaked, your socks are squelching, and you’re grinning like they just discovered buried treasure. This kind of unstructured exploration is gold for independence and creativity. Soggy shoes are a small price to pay.
- Meet Kids in a Park and Invent a Game
Science tells us starting conversations with strangers makes us happier! And the more we try to reach out to people (in a safe and respectful way of course) the less surprising you’ll find their responses. Within minutes, you’ve got an elaborate game with rules so complicated even Einstein would struggle to keep up. This is childhood in its purest form. Free play teaches collaboration, negotiation, and is a free source of oxytocin (the social warm and fuzzies).
- Catch a Crab (and Let It Go)
The mission: spot a crab, catch it, squeal as it waves its claws, and then set it free like the nature hero you are. There’s something magical about these mini-adventures, and teaching kids to engage with nature. Bonus points if they learn that crabs are much happier pinching seaweed than little fingers. And of course, always be gentle! And don’t move them away from where you picked them up.
- Cut Your Own Hair
Every parent fears the moment their child emerges with a fringe that looks like it lost a fight with a lawnmower. But here’s the thing: it’s just hair. It grows back. And in the meantime, they’ve learned a little about scissors, style (or lack thereof), and consequences. Plus, it’s hilarious—if not now, then definitely in hindsight. Remember to take photos to show off at their 18th!
- Pick Fruit Off a Tree and Eat It
There’s something magical about plucking a sun-warmed piece of fruit straight from the tree and eating it on the spot. It always tastes better (..except when it doesn’t!) Forget the fact it’s not washed—it’s nature’s candy, after all. This a win for independence, while you chalk it up as one less snack you need to prepare. Everybody wins. Ps. Definitely NEVER eat random berries if you don’t know what they are!
- Eat a Whole Lemon with a Straight Face
Just thinking about lemons sparks a natural chain reaction in our faces! Practicing control over our body’s responses can be a superpower. Plus, watching them attempt to maintain a poker face while battling the sourness is pure comedy gold. We might call this resilience training, but you can just call it free family entertainment.
- Build a House of Cards and Watch It Topple
The joy of carefully stacking a house of cards is only matched by the spectacular moment it all comes crashing down. Some things might take a few goes to get right – which just makes it all the more rewarding when you get there. Sure, it will be frustrating, but you’ll also learn patience, persistence, and the beauty of starting over. Plus, it’s a fun, low-stakes way to show that failure is just part of the process.
- Make a Kite and Try to Fly It
Kites look simple enough, but once you add in the variables of balance and the elements, getting a kite to fly may be a great exercise in resilience and patience! But that’s how we learn new skills – through trial and error. “The only person who never makes a mistake is the person who never does anything”, Theodore Roosevelt. He was talking about kites I’m sure of it.
- Roll Down a Hill
The random bumps and nudges, the smell of grass, dizziness, messiness, itchiness! Sometimes it just takes 30 seconds to completely disconnect from anything on your mind! Next time you walk past a slope of green, why not give it a go. Yeah, you too grownups! You’ll feel ridiculous, but you’ll also feel ten years younger.
Why These Fails Matter
These aren’t just random activities—they’re mini-adventures designed to build confidence, independence, and a love of life’s imperfections. Kids thrive when they’re allowed to take small risks in safe environments. Shielding them from every bump and bruise might keep them safe in the short term, but it can also lead to anxiety and a fear of failure.
As Let Grow Co-founder Prof. Peter Gray explains:
“Children who have more opportunities than others for independent activities are not only happier in the short run, because the activities engender happiness and a sense of trustworthiness and competence, but also happier in the long run, because independent activities promote the growth of mental capacities for coping effectively with life’s inevitable stressors.”
So, the next time your kid proudly shows off their burnt marshmallow or comes home with creek-soaked shoes, resist the urge to groan. Instead, high-five them. These little fails are their way of learning, growing, and building a treasure trove of memories.
Got a favourite “fail” your kids have nailed? Share it in the comments—messy, funny, or outrageous, we want to hear it! 😊